The Road Trip

Essay by Farrukh Rafiq

Everyone loves road trips. You start with a companion, gather your basic supplies, and simply start in the general direction of your final destination. Making stops along the way is always great: you may discover a new product you’ve never tried before, you may want to resupply or upgrade your current supplies, and most importantly, you may make a few friends who would be willing to join you. The zombie apocalypse is the perfect road trip.

Of course there are those that disagree. Many of my contemporaries are concerned with the inevitable lack of electricity, water, food, and with dying in general, but they simply fail to see the greater picture. Humans are social creatures; we thrive in environments that cater to our need to connect with others. It’s why social media is as popular as it is, and why we love going to cottages. Quite a few of our Western art history movements started simply with a bunch of good friends hanging out. In a zombie apocalypse, humans have no choice but to connect, and therefore, to thrive. It’s good old face-to-face interaction, meeting new people, sharing experiences and ideas. The zombie apocalypse is a back-to-basics type of life. It’s pure hunter-gatherer survival. It’s a life without societal chains, without a nine-to-five job, without parking tickets.

Sure there’s the possibility that you may be overrun by a horde of zombies who may eat you alive, or at the very least, depending on whether or not you escape, infect you. You may also run into your dead family that may try to eat you, which would of course be emotionally dissimilar compared to the first scenario. But this is exactly why it’s important to eat healthy and exercise, so that you have strong stamina for such situations.

Past these hurdles is the good stuff. That long awaited road trip. Here we humans can indulge in our love of consumerism by acquiring products without paying for them, by driving cars and living in houses that we only ever saw from the outside. We can also reflect on how we were all actually metaphorical zombies before the apocalypse, and that we actually take satisfaction in battling ourselves and overcoming our strives. More importantly though, there are some great sites to see in Canada that are more than a few days’ drive away, and things would just be easier if I didn’t have work on Monday.

It’s probably too early to call the zombie apocalypse the zombie utopia; I still have some convincing to do. Honestly though, the situation is only dire for hypo- chondriacs. Everyone else wins the lottery.